Why High School Volleyball Hits Different (But Still Worth It)
Two years ago, as my daughter stepped into her senior season, I shared this blog post about the big shift from club to high school volleyball. At the time, we adjusting to schedule changes, fast-paced weeks and senior plans. My daughter was deep into the emotions—trying to figure out playing time, juggling school and coaching dynamics. I was trying to figure out how to support her without stepping in too much. If you’re in that stage now, you’re not alone.
Now that she’s playing in college, I’ve had time to reflect—and I’ve also seen even more parents in volleyball groups online and on the sidelines wondering, “Why does high school ball feel so different?”
So from one volleyball mom to another, let’s talk about it. Let’s unpack what makes this transition so tricky, why it catches so many of us off guard, and most importantly—why it still matters.
Because yes, high school volleyball hits different. But it can also shape your athlete in ways club volleyball may not.
So… Why Does It Feel So Different?
If you’ve spent years watching your daughter thrive in club—getting solid playing time, clear feedback, and strong development—it can feel jarring when high school season starts. Suddenly, she’s not starting. She’s unsure of her role. Practices feel different. Communication is different. The energy? Totally different.
And let’s be real: it’s frustrating.
But here’s why it’s happening:
💬 Playing Time Isn’t Guaranteed
Even if your athlete was a starter in club, she might not see the same court time in high school. Coaches often lean on returning players, seniors, or those who’ve been in the program longer. It’s not necessarily personal—it’s just how many high school teams operate.
⚖️ It Feels Like Politics (And Sometimes It Is)
We’ve all heard it: “It’s political.” And sometimes it can feel that way—like the coach is favoring certain players or sticking to a system that doesn’t highlight your daughter’s skills.
But more often, it’s really about hierarchy and history. High school coaches typically give upperclassmen first crack at court time. It can be hard to watch your younger, highly-skilled player wait her turn—but this is part of how school sports run.
🎯 Teams Are Built Around Needs, Not Just Talent
This one surprises a lot of parents. Club teams are crafted around top skill and filling elite-level roles. High school teams? They’re built to fill positional gaps and keep the system running. Your daughter might be a standout outside hitter in club, but if her school team has two experienced seniors in that position, she may get moved—or sit—just based on what the team needs. Did you school lose a top player in a different position? Guess what? Your player may be asked to fill that role.
🧠 Coaching Style Clashes
Club coaches are often specialists focused on player development and recruiting. High school coaches juggle academic schedules, gym time, and a wide range of player experience levels. Oh yes, and ‘parent politics’ – (you know- parents complaining about playing time who should really be empowering their player to advocate for themselves.)The result? Practices, feedback, and in-game decisions may feel inconsistent or confusing to some families trying to navigate both worlds each year.
“I came across article the other day where high school players interviewed each other and shared how club and school volleyball feel totally different. It illustrates a wide range of experiences.
“In school ball we don’t play six-foot girls on a daily basis… playing for club showed me the level I’ll face in college.”
“We practice twice a week in club, but in school it’s every day and way more intense.”
— High school athletes via The Booster Redux
🔄 When Club and High School Overlap
In many regions, club tryouts start before the high school season even ends. That means your athlete might be juggling two entirely different expectations at once. Club coaches want commitment. High school coaches expect focus. And in between? Your kid is tired, sore, and stressed.
This is where burnout can creep in—quickly. As a parent, you can help her prioritize rest, hydration, nutrition, and sleep—but you can’t manage both calendars for her. What you can do is create space to talk about how she’s doing emotionally and mentally. Sometimes that’s the biggest game-changer. You can also encourage her to write down those thoughts and set reasonable goals for herself during the season. Help her with the path to get there…
🧠 A Personal Story: From Criticism to Confidence
I’ll never forget when a high school coach told my daughter—who was a 4-year varsity letter earner and plays setter—that she “falls apart under pressure.” Ouch. It was one of those moments that stuck with my girl (and me).
Did it help? No. Not in that moment.
But it didn’t break her. Instead, she used it as fuel.
She worked harder. She leaned into journaling, goal setting, and summer reps. She stayed consistent and trusted herself –more than the feedback she received that day.
Fast forward two years, and she finished her college freshman season with:
- 1,000+ sets (a freshman and school record)
- Rookie of the Year in her conference
- Top 10 in assist stats nationwide
- All-Region, All-Conference, Honorary All-American, and 7-time Rookie of the Week
- Team MVP (and first trip to NCAA playoffs for the program)
That coach’s comment could have crushed her. Instead—it sharpened her. And honestly, I’m thankful she didn’t let one tough season filled with challenges define her future. If a similar thing is happening in school ball with your player, don’t give up hope. Ask them to use this experience to help them climb the ladder to the next level.
👟 How to Help Your Athlete Thrive
You don’t need to micromanage this season—you just need to support your daughter or son’s growth. Here are a few ways to do that without overstepping:
💬 Let Her Talk to the Coach
One of the biggest lessons high school volleyball teaches is how to self-advocate. Instead of emailing the coach yourself, ask your daughter what her role is—and encourage her to get clarity if she doesn’t know.
Here’s a graphic you can share with her:
🧘 Protect Her Recovery
When she’s juggling club tryouts and high school practices, help her make sleep, food, hydration, and downtime a priority. It matters more than we realize. If she wants to play at the next level, she’ll see this theory in practice at the college level. It’s non-negotiable.
📊 Club Ball vs. School Ball: What’s Really Different?
💛 Final Thoughts: From One Volleyball Mom to Another
High school volleyball is hard in ways club never is. I am also aware that there are some areas of the country that experience the opposite- parents who move into certain school districts so that their player can be a part of longtime dominate and reputable high school program. If this is not your experience, just know that these challenges can also teach your player how to be flexible, to lead, to advocate, to stay steady when things don’t go her way. These are the exact qualities she’ll need—on and off the court—for years to come.
So if you’re watching your athlete wrestle with a new role, a confusing coach, or a lack of minutes—take a breath. This isn’t the end of her story.
It might just be the beginning of her next big chapter.
I welcome your comments, frustrations, triumphs and anything you’d like to share from your point of view. Let’s all help each other get through the season!
R.J. Williams
Sideline CEO, livestream crier, professional snack-packer and chauffer
